FROST'S FUNERAL HOME-- No one can accuse Mortimer Frost of being a stiff. Mortimer, the owner and director of Frost's Funeral Home in downtown Everett Washington, is the youngest mortician in the state.

Mortimer Frost tries to keep a straight face as he 'sizes up' a potential client.

Mortimer, 23, graduated from Western Washington University with a degree in environmental studies. He never intended to be a funeral director. But when his grandfather died, Mortimer's father firmly suggested that Mortimer get involved in the family-owned business.

"The Frosts have been burying people for five generations," said Mortimer in his trained 'funeral' voice. "I wanted to be an artist...well, in a way I guess I am."

Mortimer--his middle name actually, his first name is Corey--has had to grow into his position, learning to look like a mortician, talk like a mortician, and act like a mortician.

"I didn't have the look at first," said Mortimer. "I came to work wearing a [Seattle] Mariners jersey and Khakis. My dad forced me to shave my head and to wear black suits."

As a beginning mortician Mortimer had the usual problems.

"Oh sure, I made a bit of a mess with one or two of the 'clients'," said Mortimer, "but that was to be expected. Fortunately none of them could feel anything. And there was the time I mixed up the embalming fluid with Hawaiian Punch. The body was much rosier than it should have been, and, well, I don't need to mention the hilarity that ensued when my friend Richard drank the other stuff."

The "life-transition" business is serious work, but Mortimer has a hard time trying to suppress his morbid sense of humour. He's had to stifle more than one laugh while on the job.

"I keep trying to be impassionate--like Lurch from 'The Addams Family'," admitted Mortimer, "but every time I try and talk like that, I start to giggle. Everyone takes this death business so seriously."

Mortimer tries to keep his sense of humour, while still maintaining the mortician image. He works on his creepy stare, and has been trying to develop a twitch.

"I lose it every time I give a potential client the once over," said Mortimer. "That's where the mortician 'sizes up' the person he's talking to--like he's measuring him up for a coffin. I always turn away before I crack up completely."

This isn't to say that Mortimer can't have some fun at work.

"I like to have the organist play Def Leppard songs--like 'Pour Some Sugar On me'--in a dirge-sounding way," chuckled Mortimer. "And I'll always play along with the old 'he's not dead' gag, or the tape-recorder trick with the pre-recorded knocking and the muffled 'let me out' voice."

Still, Mortimer has his serious side.

"Oh sure...when it comes to money, I'm all business," stated Mortimer. "But when a friend wants me to give him a good price on a plot or a casket, I usually get cremated."

Mortimer's favourite horror movie is Phantasm.

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